Work .. work .. work... The last 6 months, I have been submerged in work. Too many projects, too many critical issues.. And life was getting monotonous.
For a while, I had been thinking about participating in some community activities. Then it so happened that I had shared some of my you-tube links in my apartment complex group, and many seemed interested in playing the keyboard. So, I created a group, consisting mostly of parents of kids who are already learning to play the keyboard.
We started out initially with 3 kids. I met them once every 2 weeks. I first listened to them play something on the keyboard to get a sense of where they were at. I then started teaching them some phrases of popular songs, and that's when it really hit me.
When you work one-on-one with a child, it is absolutely critical to establish rapport and psychological safety. I was genuinely impressed by what the kids were playing, and I would tell them "very nice" and it was then that I found a far more effective tool for keeping the positive vibe going - The humble high -five ! :)
There is a reason shaking hands builds closeness a lot better than simply saying hello does. The physical touch makes a big difference at a subconscious level. So, each time I taught the kids something, and they played it right, I would give them a high-five ! And each time they made a mistake, I would gently correct them, wait until they played it right, and then give them a high-five. Either way, they got high-fives :D... I now strongly believe that the high-five is a supremely underrated tool in working with kids...
Within a couple of sessions, the kids were enjoying me teaching them something, and I was enjoying it too :) It was at this time that I noticed that each one had a different learning style. One was very quick at grasping new ideas, and was constantly restless. I needed to keep challenging him with something novel and interesting. Another was very methodical, and very dedicated and sincere in his approach. Another had clearly not been taught properly, and had to unlearn a few things.
Some kids still did not totally enjoy being taught in public, as they seemed to have a feeling of being scrutinized. I could totally relate to that feeling. So I sent tutorial videos for each of the songs that kids could watch, and could then practice by themselves at home. They could take their own sweet time, with no feeling of being judged, and the next time we met, they were a lot more open about me helping them iron out a few kinks..
With time and rapport, these kids began to become more comfortable learning in public as well.. I now have a theory - You can push and stretch kids to the degree that you establish psychological safety. If you whole heartedly accept them, make them feel you believe in them, and they know that you will not judge them if they make a mistake, you can get them to do hard things.
I never criticized any kid for making mistakes, but I was gentle bulldog - I would gently but repeatedly insist that they play it right. If it was still too hard for them , I would simplify it, but encouraged them to learnt that simple phrase really well.
After a couple of weeks, 2 more kids joined the group. With Independence Day exactly 2 weeks away, someone floated the idea of performing for the Independence day program . We further had a limitation that we could hook up only 2 keyboards at a time to the sound system. 5 kids and me. So we formed 3 teams.
Each one of us would play the lead for one song, and accompany another song. We finalized the songs. I quickly created and sent out the tutorial videos for the songs in the keyboard group. We began to meet every 2 days. Each time I met with the kids, they had improved.
We were now withing 2 days of the D-day. I finalized the instrument to be used for each song and the volume levels for the lead and accompanying instrument. I created a plan for the final day - who would carry the keyboard, who would carry the stand, who would carry the adapters etc. Everyone had to do some work in addition to playing the instrument. The little 8 year old girl in our group was given the responsibility of giving the final counts after which we would all bow together before the audience.
On the day of the final event, we were asked to open the show.
Every single kid impressed with what they did on stage. They were calm and composed. They occasionally made mistakes, but kept moving on, just as I had reminded them so many times in the past. It is one thing to know that you should not stop when you make a mistake, but it entirely something else to actually keep going when a mistake happens on stage. I was really happy for all the kids and myself too. We all gave each other one more round of high-fives and took a few pics together :)
The next day, I organized a small get-together, and arranged for some cup-cakes for all the kids, and had prepared a personalized note for each of the kids. The kids though, had a bigger surprise in store for me - They had created a hand-made card for me, thanking me for my efforts in coaching them.. I was so deeply moved. I was touched by their affection...
I have played in so many musical shows when I was in college. But this was truly special - coaching kids to put up something. Post the event , a few more kids have joined the group. I want to try my best to keep this going. I want to make a kids-band here. My son is still young and playful, but he does show an interest in learning the keyboard, and I want to regularly take him along to the sessions I do with the kids.
This experience reminded of a simple lesson- If you have a skill.. if you have some knowledge, share it with others.. It will give you a sense of peace and inner happiness, that no amount of money or fame can offer.
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