Thursday, May 24, 2018

What makes you remarkable ?


I know that's a provocative title !

To clarify, I am not asking how talented or smart you are.. I already know that you are smart cos you read this blog ( lol :).

What I am asking is how remarkable are you in relationships and in how you interact with people ? Especially people you are close to, but in general with everyone ? When you are about to meet someone, do you have a specific intention in mind ? - Perhaps it is to be present and a good listener, perhaps it is to make the interaction fun, perhaps it is to be welcoming and kind, or perhaps it is to be encouraging, or maybe it is to be positive . Whatever your style may be, do you have an intention ?

Or do you just show up, and react to what the other person is saying, or other cues that appear ? As an example, say you get back home from work, and your spouse is already in, do you just show up and react to their mood, or do you intentionally shape the energy of the interaction ?

I did not grasp this concept for the longest time in my life, because no-one explicitly speaks about it. But I believe nowhere else does our level of growth and self-mastery manifest itself better than in how we show up in our interactions with people.

Every single remarkable person I have met in my life approaches every single interaction with an intention - An intention that goes beyond just showing up. This is exactly how a culture is shaped, be it work culture or a family culture..Consistently and intentionally being a certain way, and bringing a certain energy changes everything. Contrary to what some people think, this is not about 'rehearsing' or being artificial. If it seems unnatural to you, it will seem unnatural only until you do it often enough to make it a habit, and then it will become your 'new normal' .


We are remarkable in all the ways in which we are intentional. 
And just showing up is the opposite of being remarkable. 


I am going to make what seems like a deviation...

A lot of people ( including me) have spent a lot of time trying to find their purpose in life - that one thing which will resolve all the dilemma, all the confusion, and the sense of restlessness. They believe that once they know their purpose in life, their life will change forever.

If you read books on leadership/management, the word 'purpose' will show up numerous times. But here is the interesting thing - I have found that you will very rarely find the word 'purposeful'. It doesn't show up. I have rarely heard anyone use it. I dont think I have ever used it in my blog in the last 10 years..

How curious that everyone is searching for their purpose, but almost no one talks about being purposeful !!

The word 'purposeful' broadly has two meanings -
One - meaningful
Two - intentional

To me this is supremely interesting, and I don't believe that this is a coincidence.

We focus too much on trying to find meaning without being intentional. 

When we are purposeful about how we act, we experience more meaning, and a deeper sense of fulfilment and purpose.

I have more to say on this, but my intention is not to convert this to an exclusive self-help blog, so I'm gonna stop :))

PS: I know the writing is a bit scattered.. I will probably come back and fix it later; I just felt compelled to put this down right now. 

But does what I am saying here resonate with you ? If so, do leave a comment.

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